A Flaw
by MeliiMamiii
Summary: Rhonda's had a fool-proof way to predict everyone's destiny, the origami marriage predictor. But when she discovers what her own destiny holds for her, she suddenly realizes that maybe there is a flaw with predictor. After all, she was Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, and she could NOT marry the guy that it said she'd marry! There had to be a flaw! Right? Set during Season 5 "Married"
1. Chapter 1

**I've had this little story in the works for a few months now and finally got around to writing it. It takes place during the Season 5 Episode "Married" and centers around Rhonda.**

 **I always just found it really interesting how Rhonda barged onto the bus making the announcement that the origami marriage predictor was inaccurate. My guess was that she didn't like the "fate" that was given to her!**

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Rhonda Wellington Lloyd loved being the center of attention. Today she loved it even more. Last night she put together a marriage predictor made out of folded paper, and today she was able to match her classmates together. It was fool proof and completely accurate. Everyone seemed happy with their pairings, like Peapod Kid and her best friend Nadine! It was simply perfect. And then Arnold had to go and tell her that her predictor was wrong just because he got paired with Helga Pataki. Sure, it was crazy. Helga detested Arnold and picked on him non-stop, called him names and shot spit wads at his football shaped head. But the marriage predictor was 101% accurate. She just knew it. And he tried his luck over 100 times and got Helga Pataki each time. He was in complete shock but he just had to understand that this wasn't just some folded piece of paper, it was his destiny. She cracked a tiny smile and laughed, Arnold and Helga? But, that was what the future held. Sheena and Eugene, Phoebe and Gerald, Nadine and Peapod, Stinky and Lila…suddenly it hit her…no one got her! She bolted up from her bed and went through her backpack pulling out the marriage predictor, following the prompts until she was about to reveal her destiny. She smiled, knowing she had a great match, after all, she _was_ Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. She flipped the flap of the paper up and gasped when she read the name.

Curly Gammelthorpe.

No. Just…no. Curly!? It had to be a mistake. She must have counted wrong. She did it again, same answer. She picked her next favorite number.

Curly.

She picked another favorite color.

Curly.

Again and again, the response was always Curly. Her heart was beating erratically and her hands shook. Impossible. It had to be impossible, her and Curly? That was even worse than Helga Pataki and Arnold Shortman! At least Helga was normal! Sure, she was a total boorish tomboy and she was crass and had no fashion sense and a horrible unibrow but…she wasn't some psychotic freak trying to cut locks of Arnold's hair to make a shrine of him or something! She didn't follow him around or go around trying to smell him.

Curly Gammelthorpe was by far the weirdest kid Rhonda had ever met. Even when they were younger, he was always the little weirdo and always had a tendency to try and follow Rhonda around and asking her to be his girlfriend. He was a total geek! He had ugly thick glasses and a greasy bowl cut. He was not even remotely cute and he was just so weird. He took ballet and who could forget the time he threw a fit when Sid was named ball monitor instead of him. He was crazy! He had weird psychotic tendencies and he was obsessed with her. Usually she would like the attention but coming from Curly it was just so creepy. He was creepy. No, she could _never_ marry someone like him. She could never marry Curly.

Obsessively, Rhonda redid the predictor until she exceeded the number of tries Arnold redid his.

"It's official…8:47 pm, my life is officially over" Rhonda said throwing herself on her bed face first and sobbing into her satin pillowcase.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who liked & reviewed the first part of this story. I rewrote this chapter a few times before I got to a point where I was happy with it. **

**I'm working on chapter 3 right now and hope I can get it up soon!**

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"Rhonda" she felt a gentle nudge and she let out a moan

"Five more minutes mother" she pleaded as she pulled the covers over her eyes.

"Rhonda, get up already"

"What?! Can't you see I need my beauty rest?" she screeched as she sat up in her bed and looked around the room, "where am I?" she asked aloud.

"What do you mean?" the voice said. Rhonda rubbed her sleepy eyes, and tried to get her eyes to focus. She had to squint and finally saw an older girl, not as old as her mother, but probably in her early twenties. Her light brown skin was flawless, and her blonde braids cascade down her back. She looked familiar, but it didn't make sense for the girl that was standing in front of her to be the girl she was thinking of.

"Nadine? Is that you?"

"Are you feeling ok?" The girl asked, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at her. It _was_ Nadine! She was just…older!

"How…what? Ugh, what is happening?!" Rhonda groans. Wait, if Nadine was older, did that mean she was older too? Rhonda lifted the covers off of her body and looked down at her own body. She had boobs! And her legs were long and slender, her hips wider. She looked back at Nadine with confusion, hoping for an explanation.

"Are you sick? Did you hit your head last night?"

"What was last night?"

"The rehearsal dinner?"

"Rehearsal dinner?"

"Yeah. You know, for the wedding?" Nadine says as if Rhonda should know which wedding she was talking about. Rhonda gasped. The marriage predictor!

"Nadine, who am I going to marry?"

" _You?!_ " Nadine suppresses a laugh "please, you're not marrying anyone"

"Well…why not?"

"I don't know. Maybe cause you haven't found the right guy yet"

"Oh, phew" Rhonda exhales "I thought…you know what, never mind"

"We better hurry up and meet the rest of the girls at her suite"

"But who is getting married?"

"Seriously Rhonda? Come on" Nadine says throwing Rhonda a pink satin robe. She holds it up "Bridesmaid? Nadine…are _you_ getting married?"

"No" she says with an annoyed scoff, "Hurry up or she's going to be pissed" Nadine slipped out of the room and Rhonda scurried after her as she hastily slips the robe on over her nightgown. They enter another room,

"Well it's about time Princess!" a voice says. Rhonda can't see the person the voice belongs to. Makeup artists and hair stylists are in her way. Who was this mysterious bride?

"Helga?" Rhonda says "You're getting married?!" Helga looks…beautiful. Wow, she never thought she'd see the day where Helga was actually considered beautiful. But she was, much prettier than her older sister Olga, the unibrow is gone and the makeup the makeup artist has chosen for her accentuates her beauty.

"What are you talking about! Of course I'm getting married! How much did you have to drink last night?" Helga asks with a raised eyebrow

"Helga, chill. She's just a little off" Nadine says.

"This is just too weird. Last night I was in my room freaking out over the wedding predictor"

"What are you talking about?" Helga asks.

"I'm 9! And so are you guys! We're in Mr. Simmon's 4th grade class! We all go to PS 118 and we play ball at Gerald field" She shouts. The makeup artists look at Rhonda

"Can you give us a minute?" Helga asks them, they nod and walk away. As soon as they walk out Helga screams "what is the matter with you?! Are you drunk!? Are you on something? On my wedding day!?"

"Helga relax!" Nadine says

"Oh dear, is everything ok? I heard you screaming down the hallway" a Japanese woman with dark hair, makeup and hair done says as she enters the suite. Phoebe.

"Princess over here is on one! On my wedding day!" Helga says nearing hysterics, looking like she's about to cry, she's rambling about how her perfect day is already ruined and that maybe it's a sign. The dark haired girl continuously calls her name in attempt to calm her down and finally slaps her

"Sorry, you were in hysterics" Phoebe says, the slap seems to do the trick because Helga sits back in her seat

"Thanks Phoebe." Helga says

"Why don't I take Rhonda out for a little walk in the hall, Nadine can stay with you. You need to start getting ready." Phoebe says as she pulls Rhonda into the hallway

"Ow. Hey! Cut it out!" Rhonda says

"Rhonda, what's wrong? You know how Helga's nerves have been on the edge lately."

"Phoebe…I, I don't know how to explain this. You're smart, you can probably explain it. I…I don't remember anything! The last thing I remember was being 9 years old and I was in my room freaking out cause of the marriage predictor and then I fell asleep…I think. And when I woke up I was this and Helga was getting married to god knows who and I'm a bridesmaid? I'm not even friends with her!"

"Rhonda, you must have hit your head or something. You aren't making any sense. You and Helga have been close friends since High School. We all are friends. And she's getting married to the guy she has dated since high school"

"Who is…?"

"Arnold"

"Arnold!? I was right! The predictor was right" Rhonda gasps

"The predictor?"

"Phoebe…how old are we?"

"24"

"Omg…it's…what time is it?"

"9:05"

"9:05…It's 9:05 am and my life is officially over"

"What are you talking about?"

"It was right…the predictor was right."

"I still have no clue…"

"Are you married to Gerald?"

"Well…no…not yet at least" Phoebe says.

"Not yet?"

"Well…we're engaged. But you knew that already." She says pointing to her engagement ring.

"Who else is married?"

"Helga and Arnold are the first to marry. Well…unless you count Sheena and Eugene…"

"WHAT?! See! It was right"

"They divorced. Really they married because…well…to keep up appearances"

"Huh?"

"Eugene is…he likes guys. But he didn't think his parents would approve of his lifestyle choice. So…he and Sheena married but they were only friends. His parents found out that he is gay so they stopped the whole fake marriage. They really were only married for a year two years ago before they signed the divorce. So technically…"

"Eugene likes boys? You mean…he's?"

"Rhonda, this isn't news" Phoebe shakes her head.

"It is to me! Is Nadine seeing anyone?"

"Yeah she's dating some guy she works with from the research labs"

"This is so strange. Is it Peapod Kid?"

"Peapod Kid?"

"Yeah you know, the kid in our class?"

"Rhonda, we really don't have time for this. You still need to get your hair and makeup done. We're running behind schedule. You must have just had a bad dream or something. After all, we did talk about our days back in the old neighborhood and school and stuff but that's all it is Rhonda. We're adults and Helga and Arnold are getting married. As her best friends, it's our job to make this day run as smoothly as possible and a beautiful memory. Ok? So you're going to march back in there, apologize to her and sit in that chair to get all prettied up. No more of this nonsense, Rhonda. Got it?" Phoebe says, Rhonda widens her eyes and nods, figuring this must just be a dream, she will probably be woken up soon so she might as well go along with it.

Because it's crazy, crazy to think that a folded piece of paper predicted their future. That's just crazy, because that would mean that she would have married Curly. She had to wake up from this bizarre dream soon, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for the reviews and new follows. Sorry it took awhile to update! Life has been hectic and my focus has been bad.**

 **Hopefully my next chapter for this won't take me that long to get up, but I can't make any promises, especially with the holidays coming up.**

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After apologizing to a hysterical Helga, Rhonda sits and lets the makeup artist doll her up. The hand her a glass of orange juice and she takes a sip, realizing it must be the mimosas Mummy and Daddy drink at brunch on the weekends. No wonder they love these! They are delicious! She chugs the mimosa and sets it down on the table. Soon the girls are ready and they help Helga dress, Rhonda realizes Helga's family isn't present.

"Nadine…where is Helga's mom? Shouldn't she be here?" Rhonda whispers

"Rhonda…don't. Not today. Don't. She is already nervous enough as is."

"I just…" Rhonda says, Nadine shakes her head in disapproval. This is no fun. She couldn't even ask questions in her dream? She glanced in the mirror and admired herself.

Wow, she was a complete knockout! Sure, Helga was pretty, and so were Phoebe and Nadine in a more plain way, but she was a Wellington Lloyd!

Rhonda always thought her mother was beautiful, but the young woman that stared back at her in the mirror was even more gorgeous and elegant than Brooke. How had she _not_ found someone who was the one? How could anyone resist her? She had long, shapely legs, a thin waist, the bone structure of a goddess, big brown eyes framed by thick, long eyelashes, a perfectly straight and slightly upturned nose and perfectly full lips.

"Hey Princess, let's get a move on!" Helga snapped her fingers in Helga's face, interrupting Rhonda's mirror time. How could she be friends with Helga? She was so bossy!

"Whatever you say, your majesty" Rhonda's voice dripped with sarcasm as she fake curtsied. Nadine elbowed her softly and shook her head.

Rhonda couldn't help but stare at everyone during the ceremony and picking out faces from the crowd of people that she knew. It was amazing how different some people looked but it really creeped her out.

"At least Curly isn't here. Maybe this is a good dream after all" she muttered

"Rhonda, shh!" Nadine hissed "they're about to pronounce them Husband and Wife!"

Rhonda stifled a yawn and a snicker. Arnold and Helga. Now that was ridiculous. Helga _hated_ Arnold. How could Arnold want to marry the girl that tormented him his whole life?

She couldn't deny that they looked so happy though, so in love. Arnold hadn't taken his eyes off of Helga since she walked into the church, and she could have sworn that she saw his eyes water. Helga was smiling so much that Rhonda wondered if her face was hurting.

"-you may now kiss the bride" the priest announced, before Arnold dipped Helga and planted a kiss on her lips. Rhonda let out a wistful sigh. Why didn't she have someone? Why did Nadine say that she didn't have anyone?

"Rhonda, lets go" Phoebe nudged.

It was all so confusing to her, random people were talking to her and she had to pretend to know what they were talking about and who they all were. It was simply exhausting. Not to mention, everyone was noticing how weird Rhonda was acting.

"Don't worry, Dream Sid, this is all a figment of my imagination, so anything we do isn't real" Rhonda told Sid, who was making a comment on how he was going to be hating himself in the morning for taking advantage of the open bar.

"Are you on drugs?" Sid raised his eyebrow at Rhonda

"No! I told you. This is all a dream. I'm really 9 years old, and we're still in Mr. Simmons's 4th grade class. You're still a little shrimp with stringy hair and big ears and your hat on backwards."

"You know, if you're going to start lying about your age, I'd say you should go with 21."

"I mean, really, think about the logic of this dream. We are at Arnold and Helga's wedding. Arnold and Helga? Seriously, what a joke!"

" _What_ did you say?" an angry voice says from behind her, Sid goes pale and Rhonda turns around with a smile

"Just for the record, I didn't say anything. Y-y-you guys know I think you're a wicked awesome couple." Sid stammers "Oh hey look, Stinky is calling me over, I'll leave you two ladies to chat. Congrats again Helga."

Helga grips on to Rhonda's arm and drags her to a secluded corner.

"Ow! You're hurting me, let go"

"You're lucky I don't snap your scrawny arm in half princess. What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were my friend?"

Rhonda rolls her eyes and wishes she would just wake up already. This whole explaining herself over and over again was getting old.

"I can't believe that you're so…"

"Helga, this is just a dream"

"No Rhonda, this is my wedding day. I've dreamed of this day practically my whole life. And it seems like you're just trying to ruin it."

Rhonda had never seen Helga cry. Regardless of this being a dream or not, she felt horrible for making dream Helga cry. Especially on Dream Helga's wedding day.

"Look, it's nothing personal Helga. I just. This sounds so crazy but it's true. I made an origami marriage predictor and…"

"Rhonda, we were nine when that happened."

"Right! So this is just a dream. Because nine year old Helga and Arnold would never actually get married. Just like I'm not actually going to marry Curly"

"Curly? Of course you're not going to marry Curly. He hates you"

"What?"

"He has never forgiven you for what you did to him"

"What… _I_ did? What did I do?"

"Look, I know you hate when you aren't the center of attention, but please. Let me have my day. It's already rough enough that Arnold and I don't have our families here. And our friends are our family to us. To hear you thinking that we're a joke? That hurts Rhonda, it really hurts me. This did happen, it isn't a dream, just my dream come true. So don't ruin it."

Rhonda was stunned and felt completely guilty. She had to wake up soon, but when? And what if this really wasn't a dream? What if somehow, this was real? She pinched her arm hard, and closed her eyes. But when she opened her eyes again, all she saw was Helga in her wedding dress standing in front of her.

"This can't be happening," Rhonda muttered to herself, "why won't I wake up?"


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get out. I feel like I had serious writers block lately! I know where I want to go with the story but I have to bridge the gaps between x and y first.**

 **Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and that I don't leave you guys hanging so long in between chapters.**

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By the time the wedding was over, Rhonda was exhausted. The happy couple was sent off on their honeymoon and everyone else went home, leaving the bridal party reminiscing in the hotel bar lobby.

"Man, I just can't believe my boy is married now. Mmm-mmm-MMM, seems like just yesterday we were doing our little hand shake and telling urban legends"

"That was yesterday" Nadine giggled "it's crazy, it's like we're _really_ growing up now. I mean, first Arnold and Helga, next it'll be you two" she gestured towards Phoebe and Gerald. Phoebe blushed and giggled while Gerald beamed.

"It was really great to see how everyone turned out" Rhonda said, "I mean, some of us looks completely different than I had pictured."

"Thank God" Sid laughs while elbowing Nadine "puberty, am I right?"

"So…um…where's Curly?" Rhonda blurted out before she could stop herself.

"Curly?" Stinky asked "why would you of all people, ask about Curly?"

"Just curious. He wasn't here so…"

"Yeah he was." Stinky says. Did Rhonda really not notice Curly the Freak among the crowd? No, there is no way she could've missed his greasy hair and huge glasses. Even if he looked different, he would still have pestered Rhonda because it _was_ Curly, and that's just what Curly does. No, they had to be joking.

"Well…where was he?" Rhonda sips her drink casually and winces at the taste, spitting it back into the glass.

"Avoiding you" Harold snickers.

"You've been weird all night, are you on something?" Sid asks again "How drunk are you?"

"No, no. I just…" Rhonda starts, "forget it."

Once back in their room, Rhonda turned towards her best friend who had just climbed into her bed.

"Nadine…we're best friends, I mean, we've been best friends since we were in diapers"

"Yep, over two decades of friendship. Why?"

"Well, I know I've been acting strange, and that no one believes that I'm like…"

"Tripping?"

"Sure. But, like, what if…" Rhonda doesn't want Nadine to tell her that it's not a dream again, "what if I wake up tomorrow and I'm still…this?"

"Of course you'll still be you. You're Rhonda."

"I mean. What if I still have all these missing gaps between 4th grade and the person I am right now? I mean, I don't know anything. Like, what do I do?"

"I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow Rhonda. You must just need some rest. It has been an exhausting weekend"

"But…I mean,"

"When you wake up you'll feel better. You'll be back to the usual Rhonda Lloyd you always are"

"Nadine, why do you think Helga and Arnold got married?"

"Most people marry for love. I mean, you saw them today."

"But they would fight so much. I mean, she's so mean to him. Was? You know what I mean"

"Helga still has her temper, but there is so much love between them. It's like, they compliment each other, they complete each other." Nadine says with a yawn "I'm really tired Rhonda, I need to sleep"

"Ok"

"Night."

"Night Nadine"

Much to her surpise, when Rhonda's eyes fluttered open, she was not 9 again. Meaning that she was still stuck in this bizarre alternate reality where Arnold and Helga were now married and she had no idea how to snap out of it.

After they had checked out of their hotel room, Nadine kissed her on the cheek goodbye and told her she had to get going.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"I…where do I live? I mean, I don't know how to get home. Where _is_ home? Do I still live with my parents? I mean, this all looks so different and…"

"Rhonda, you need to chill"

"I'm serious Nadine. I don't know anything"

Nadine rolled her eyes at her friend's nonsense but told her that she'd drive her home and that she really should call a shrink or neurologist just as the valet brought Rhonda's shiny red convertible over.

"I drive that? I mean, that's my car? Oh it's lovely" Rhonda could see her reflection in the shiny paint.

"Yes, you have a taste for fast and expensive cars…and men"

"What?"

"Nothing. Come on, get in. I don't want to miss my flight"

"Wait, what do you mean 'flight'? Where are you going?"

"Rhonda, you know I'm only here for the weekend. I have to be back to work tomorrow at the labs"

"But…I'll need you. I mean, who will answer my questions for things when they don't make sense?"

"Rhonda, you're a smart woman, you can figure things out on your own. And really, if this amnesia crap is still a problem, you really have to see a doctor of some sort."

20 minutes or so later, Nadine pulled into the garage of a large upscale and modern building.

"I live here?"

"Yep"

"Wow. It's so…"

"It's flashy, much like you. While the rest of us live in tiny broom closet apartments, drowned in student loan debt, you live in luxury." Rhonda couldn't help but notice some bitterness in Nadine's voice as they reached the lobby. "Here are your keys. I gotta run up and catch a cab. Text me if you need anything. I hope you feel better Rhonda" Nadine gives her a hug, "you're on the 12th floor. Door B"

"Oh…um…ok." Rhonda releases her best friend and waves until the elevator doors shut.

Rhonda's jaw practically hits the floor when she unlocks the door to her home.

This home, her home, was simply perfect. The walls were a crisp white with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. It had the perfect balance of modern chic and glamour touches throughout.

She quickly ran through the whole penthouse, squealing over how tastefully decorated everything was, stroking the beautiful drapes and marble counter tops, grazing her cheeks against the high thread count sheets on her enormous bed and sniffing the bottles of imported perfumes on her beautiful vanity. She just about had a heart attack when she saw the size of her walk in closet, which was four times the size of her mother's and filled with even more beautiful clothes than she had ever seen in her life.

"I live here" Rhonda sighed, as she twirled around in her closet. "I live in this gorgeous apartment!? Who cares if I never wake up from this freak dream I'm having? My life is absolutely perfect. What more could I ask for?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! Another chapter!**

 **I had major inspiration and am about 80% done with the next chapter and outlined the one after that! So IF all things go as planned, I'll be able to update again in a few days.**

 **Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I'm glad there's people out there interested in this story.**

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After trying on nearly every outfit in her gigantic closet, taking a relaxing bubble bath with fancy bath salts slathering on expensive face creams, Rhonda climbed into her luxurious bed in a silky night gown and fell asleep.

Rhonda awoke to an obnoxiously shrill ringing and groaned loudly. What dared to disturb her beauty sleep?

"Ugh, what the heck is that racket?" She stumbled out of bed haphazardly in search of the source of the ringing. She rummaged through the purse she abandoned in her excitement the previous day and found a small silver device that looked like a mini computer screen. It continued to ring and she stared at the object in her hand. "How on earth do I stop this? Is this a cell phone?" she hissed with frustration. The ringing stopped and she sighed with relief when the pounding on the front door started, startling Rhonda. Carefully, she tiptoes towards the door, stopping in the kitchen to fetch a heavy frying pan to defend herself in case if it's someone trying to rob her.

"Come on, I know you're in there." A voice calls from the other side of the door, jiggling the doorknob.

"W-W-who are you?"

"Just open the door Rhonda, come on"

Rhonda opens the door just a crack and sees a young man with dark hair and brown eyes standing with his hands on his hips.

"Are you going to let me in or what?" the man raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at her and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Who are you?"

"Who am I? Honestly darling. You're going to give me the proverbial cold shoulder? Come on," The man attempted to push his way through the doorway

"Wait, no you can't come in, I don't know who you are." Rhonda raised the frying pan. This guy certainly didn't look like the kind of person who would rob her, but how could she know for sure? Maybe if she screamed someone would hear and call the cops?

"Unbelievable. Rhonda, sweetie, I know we both are absolutely terrible at owning up to our mistakes and asking for forgiveness so why don't we just leave it at I'll buy you drinks next time we go out and let it slide? Come on, miss Drama Queen. What's wrong?" he laughs. Should she tell him? Maybe he could help her. Or maybe he would think she was crazy just like her friends did? She had to take her chances, she needed answers.

"I um…I have temporary amnesia…or something" Rhonda mutters

"Is that why you're holding a frying pan? You forgot that you can't cook to save your life?" he laughs and realizes she's serious "Oh. My. God. Really? Amnesia?"

"Yes! Really! Now, if you would please tell me who you are and how I know you." she snapped as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"No wonder you never got back to me! Um…well, put the frying pan down Honey, I'm Simon. We've known each other for years now."

"Are we…dating?"

"Oh god no!" he laughs, strutting his way into her house. Rhonda shuts the door behind him, "I mean, no offense. You're gorgeous. But you know, you're definitely not my type" he laughs.

"So…we're friends?" Rhonda asks, trying to mask the hurt of a good looking and well-dressed man telling her that someone as beautiful as Rhonda was not his type. Had he _seen_ her? She was a knockout!

"We're BFFs" he says

"What's that? What does that mean?"

"Oh honey, it _is_ bad, isn't it?" Simon asks with a concerned look on his face, "Best Friend Forever, naturally."

"Oh. I thought Nadine…"

"Oh yes, your childhood best friends" he rolls his eyes and snickers, "well, lets just say, we're _real_ besties. I mean, we live in the same city, share similar interests and tastes. We're partners in crime! So? Spill, tell me about the wedding!"

Rhonda is still confused at this friendship she had with this man. And what was his deal with Nadine and the rest of her friends? Was he really more friends with him than with Nadine?

"Sorry…Simon. I guess I'm kinda out of it" Rhonda laughed nervously and sat on the couch, clutching her head in her hands.

"I see…So…how hungover are you?"

"What?"

"What's the last thing you remember anyway?"

"Um…4th grade"

"Shit"

"Yeah" Rhonda laughed nervously "there's a lot of blanks,"

"Did anyone slip anything into your drink? You know, at the wedding?"

"This happened before the wedding. I woke up and I was this…" she gestured at herself "and first I thought it was a freaky dream, I mean, it's just…unreal, you know. I mean, last I remember was going to bed, 9 years old, and then I'm…how old am I?"

"Your _real_ age? Or the one you tell guys?"

"Yes Simon, my real age"

"24. You turn 25 next week though. That's what this must be! Some quarter century crisis"

"QUARTER CENTURY?! UGH! I'm so _old_ " she groans with realization. "My mother was 25 when she had me!"

"I'm telling you Doll, this is all some weird crisis you're having. I mean, you're turning 25, and your friends are getting married and all that. But don't even worry, you've got plenty of time to settle down and all that garbage"

"What if this _is_ my life and somehow 9 year old me was remembering that I was supposed to marry Curly?"

"What? What is Curly? What do you mean you're supposed to marry Curly?"

"This stupid origami marriage predictor said that I was going to marry Curly, this one boy in my class."

"Oh boy, those were so dumb. Did you ever play MASH? I would be a model, married to Nick Carter, living in a mansion in Paris with 3 kids. Point is, it's just a game Rhonda."

"But Helga and Arnold _did_ get married. And so did Sheena and Eugene. Even though apparently he likes boys"

"Oooh, talk to me more about this Eugene."

"Not important, focus on me" Rhonda interrupts, "point is, it's fool proof"

"You said you'd marry Curly? Who is this guy?"

"This disgusting and slimy kid that stalks me and irritates me. He tries to collect locks of my hair and he's seriously psycho!"

"Was he at the wedding?"

"I'm not sure. I mean supposedly but I didn't see him. Apparently I did something to him but I don't know what it was."

"Is he cute?"

"I don't know Simon. I don't know what he looks like now. But I seriously doubt it. He has these thick glasses and greasy hair and is just all around creepy"

"You know, I bet we can look him up"

"No! I don't want to know" Rhonda whines, hoping that Simon can't pick up on the fact that she's lying.

"Well I do! I mean, I want to know who you'll marry" he laughs.

"Well it will be a mystery because there's no way we will actually know what he looks like. I mean, Nadine doesn't live in Hillwood anymore. Maybe he doesn't either. So we won't ever know. It's not like we're going to hire some private investigator or something"

"But it'll be fun. Come on, we can do some online stalking."

"What?"

"Oh right, Pre-2000 Rhonda wouldn't know much about the wonders of online stalking. Where's your laptop?"

"I have a laptop?"

"Of course you do." Simon groans, pulling Rhonda to a room with a desk and flips open a laptop. "I suppose you don't happen to remember your password?"

"No"

"Of course," Simon sighs in annoyance "Fine. We'll use my phone…What's this guy's name?"

"Curly. Gammelthorpe. You're not going to call him, are you?"

"Of course not." Rhonda stares at Simon in awe as she watches Simon's fingers tap the tiny device repeatedly.

"What are you doing?"

"Facebook"

"Face what?"

"It's a website that pretty much everyone has. Social media. You can post pictures and bitches brag about getting engaged and other boring life events…hmm, nothing is coming up."

"Try Thaddeus."

"Seriously?" Simon looks at Rhonda and scoffs.

"I told you, he's a major geek"

"Aha! Bingo" Simon's face light's up and Rhonda inches forward to look at the screen.

* * *

 **Cliffhanger!**

 **Gotta love facebook lurking, am I right?**

 **Also, Simon is totally based off of a friend of mine.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ahhh! I know I said I would upload sooner than I did but my computer battery died and I had to wait for payday to get another one. Darn technology!**

* * *

"D-D-did you find him?"

"Yes, but his profile is private"

"Which means?"

"Well, we can't see his page. Only this picture and you can't even see his face." He zooms into a picture of someone standing on a snowy mountain with a snowboard and gear "and the rest of his pictures we _can_ see are all landscapes. How boring."

"Great" Rhonda mumbles. All that anticipation for nothing.

"So…tell me about the wedding! Was it as tacky as we thought it would be, or even tackier?"

"Simon!"

"What? I mean, you did tell me it was a cash bar. Who does that? I mean, if you cant afford an open bar, what's the point in even getting married? I bet Helga looked gorgeous though, that bitch is _so_ pretty"

"You know Helga?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?"

"No Simon, I don't" she reminds him

"Oh right, _amnesia_. Well yes, I know your friends. I mean, they live in a different world than you do but…"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on. Look around. You live in the laps of luxury, the rest of them? Well, lets say, they live…working middle class. If that."

Rhonda thinks back to what Nadine said to her when she dropped her off, and how she almost sounded bitter towards Rhonda's life. Maybe Nadine and her really weren't that close anymore. Simon was implying that Rhonda thought she was better than everyone else, and while she always did think she had better fashion taste and was far more cultured and refined than Helga for example, she still cared about her friends. Surely she learned her lesson about mocking poor people when karma came back and bit her in the butt and she had to move in to Arnold's boarding house. Was she really the kind of girl to gossip about how one of her best friend's upcoming wedding was going to be tacky because it didn't have an open bar? How could she talk badly about one of her best friends to another friend? Was she really _that_ mean?

"Hey, snap out of it" Simon snapped two fingers loudly in Rhonda's face.

"Huh? Sorry Simon, I was just… thinking."

"So? The wedding?"

"Oh right, well...the wedding was nice"

"Nice how?"

"Nice like…it was just nice to see everyone. And I mean, I guess Arnold and Helga really love each other and that's the most important part of it all. Isn't it? It's funny, when I told Arnold that he and Helga would be getting married, he was so upset. I mean, he had me redo the test 110 times! Poor guy didn't even want to take the test in the first place but I got him to do it because I told him he might get Lila. Only to get Helga G. Pataki! It's just so funny that they actually got married" Rhonda laughs then gets serious, "I can't believe they actually got married"

"Well, they've been together forever." Simon shrugs. "Sometimes you end up with people you never expected. Remember my ex?"

"No Simon, I don't"

"Well, he was honestly the last guy on earth I'd dream of being with. Like, so not my type. And he turned out to be a really great guy. That is, until the bastard cheated on me with his personal trainer. But other than that, he was great" Simon says with a blinding white smile.

"Wait a second, 'he'? Are you…do you…um?"

"Oh Rhonda, really! I am as straight as a pretzel! Even the amnesia won't erase that. I mean, I have a purse for crying out loud"

"Ok, ok, sorry. I guess…I mean, I didn't notice." Rhonda says with a smile, "so, we're really like, best friends?"

"The best." Simon smiles "don't worry Love, I'll help you through this"

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Simon, I'm really happy you're here". And although Simon was...eccentric and loud and quite frankly sort of pushy, she was glad that he was around. He didn't treat Rhonda like she was crazy and he helped her understand things like all the technological advancements she clearly knew nothing about in this bizarre alternate reality.

"So, if I want to send a message I go to this green bubble?"

"Yes. These are your recent messages, look. You open it and then just type. Its easy. This little phone will help you with everything. You'll get used to it soon enough"

"Ok good" Rhonda sighs.

"Maybe if you look through old pictures or something it can help jog some memories?" Simon suggests.

"Maybe" Rhonda says with a sigh.

"Hey, hey, I thought you were in better spirits"

"I am I just, I guess maybe it's hitting me that I wasn't just dreaming. No offense Simon, I just, thought I'd wake from a dream any minute now."

"Well honey, I don't know what to tell you. Whatever caused this is a mystery. I'd suggest going to a doctor or something but…what if they haul you to the loony bin? That would be an excellent way to pass your 25th birthday, in a straightjacket and a padded cell"

"You really think they'd do that?" Rhonda gasps. Simon shrugs, she realizes he's right. "I guess this isn't too bad. I mean, I'm gorgeous and rich and have you seen all my clothes Simon? I mean, my car! It's a great life!"

"More than great."

"I just…"

"Are you still thinking of that Curly guy?"

"No"

"Rhonda, I'm your best friend. I think I can tell a lie when I see one."

"Ok, fine. I just…I guess I have some stupid curiosity that I can't seem to shake off. Ugh I can't believe I just said that! About Curly"

"Well, you never know. Maybe seeing him…"

"But how Simon? You said we cant even see his profile on that website and It's not like I can just go looking for him at his parent's place? I mean, he was a loser but I suppose he doesn't still live with his parents. And what would I even say to him? I mean, it's just...Lets just drop it." Rhonda groans in frustration.

"Alright, alright. Why don't you go get ready"

"For what?"

"Well, you're upset, so we're gonna go do what we do best."

"Which is?"

"Shopping, duh!"

Rhonda smiled in relief, retail therapy did sound like a great way to get her mind off of stupid Curly.

* * *

 **AN: I'm almost done with the next chapter, but I won't make promises to how soon I'll update again, because I have like seven million side projects and ADHD & two kids & a full time job... so...yeah ^_^ Hopefully soon.  
**


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